Neverland: 噩梦

梦中，感觉特别孤独。
情绪异常低落，想一死了之。
醒了，一切还好，噩梦么？

Who I Am?

这是我的博客站点，在上面零碎碎地记录一些想法。大多以日记形式，记录自己的思想、生活以及自言自语。

不关注什么，也无任何目的，只想记录真实的未来与虚幻现实，但愿没有太多的“认为应该”。或许二十年之后，四十年之后，甚至更为长久的时间后，这些曾经的痕迹仍能保留下来。

感知，记录，回忆。如此甚好。

Self-Realization

I like cartoon, as well as games, and highly favor books about human-introspection, self-realization, philosophy, eternity, history and future, and also like reading stories, watching movies and TV plays.

I have a special complex in Buddhism and Taoism; some of them give me a peculiar feeling—a kind of impressive power—which makes me want to know the reason why people can be unalterable.

I seldom listen to music, but at times I enjoy listening to Michael Jackson's songs, as well as other favorites.

Computer is necessary in my life. I like surfing the internet, and have particular appreciations for some concise exquisite and beautiful websites. Moreover, programming is my most enjoyable activity for the moment. The beauty of logic makes me crazy, and there is a feeling of eternity in abstract thinking, for which I'm desirous to grasp the power of creation.

I am perplexed with questions of right or wrong all along, but now I feel that everything changes up and down forever along with the passage of time. People will feel lost after found, joyous after painful, which has crests and troughs. What is the great power that holds sway above this flux? I guess human beings more or less seek for this at all times.

I think everyone seems to have their own inescapable fate, as well as a sort of "living will" which forces her–or himself to live. And then, I feel that everything matters not that much; thus what I am going to do in life is just to strive to love what I really like and don't regret, and hope to find the place where I belong and don't wander.

喜欢动漫，也爱游戏。爱看关于人类自省、自我探寻、自我实现、哲学思考、永恒、以及历史未来的书籍，也喜欢看武侠小说、影视剧打发时间。对佛教、道教等有种特别的情节，一些相关总传递出一种特别感染的力量，很想明白为何能够坚定不移。

追求简约，喜欢淡雅，崇尚灵魂独立。生活中，却十分的懒惰，喜欢享受，缺乏自律。

很少听歌，但有时会听Michael Jackson的歌曲，以及少数其他喜欢的歌曲。

电脑是我生活中不可或缺的，喜欢上网，对一些简洁精致美丽的网站情有独钟。而编程是我目前感受最愉悦的事情，逻辑美丽让人痴迷，抽象思考有种永恒存在，很想掌握其中创造的力量。

对于正确与错误的判定，一直觉得非常迷茫。但目前觉得一切似乎都随着时间潮汐变化，清醒后会迷茫，快乐后会痛苦，有高潮有低落。控制这种潮汐变化的力量是什么，每个人都或多或少地在寻找。且觉得每个人都似乎存在着些不可逃避的命运，也都有着迫使自身能够存活下去某种“生存意志”。

于是，觉得一切都不再那么地有所谓。一直在为了能够爱上自己喜欢的而不后悔，能够找到灵魂归宿而不迷茫努力。

Neverland

Sunday, March 1, 2009

噩梦

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